Sunday, August 24, 2014

Back to School: The 70s vs. Today, A Lot has Changed

Back to School in the 70s

1. Take the kids downtown to go shopping at Sears for back to school clothes the last week of August. Get everyone a new pair of corduroys and a striped tee shirt. Buy the boys a pair of dungarees and the girls a pair of culottes. No, Jennifer, you can't have that orange and red poncho. Promise you will crochet her a better one with much more fringe. Get the girls a package of that rainbow, fuzzy yarn they like in their hair. You are done. You have spent a total of $43.00. Now take everyone to the Woolworth's lunch counter for grilled cheeses and chocolate milk.




2. On the night before the first day of school (that would be the Sunday night after Labor Day, of course, you know, mid-September) throw the kids in the way back of the station wagon and drag them downtown to Eckerds, K-Mart, Ames, Dollar General, Drug Fair or the like and hurry them over to the back-to-school area to pick out a lunchbox. Make sure to tell them get a move on because you don't have all night for them to make a damn decision. They need to get in bed by eight and yes, they're going to miss the Wonderful World of Disney if they can't decide between The Fonz and Dukes of Hazzard. Good Lord, why is it so hard for them to pick? Tell Kimberly if she can't make up her mind between Holly Hobbie and The Bionic Woman then you're going to pick Pigs in Space and you don't want to hear another word about it until June. Grab a composition book for each of them and a pack of pencils too. That's all they need. Remember to save some grocery bags so they can cover their textbooks with them after the first day of school.


3. Buy yourself a pack of Virginia Slims on the way out and smoke three of them on the way home.

4. Get up in the morning and make yourself a cup of Sanka with Sweet 'n' Low. Line up all the lunchboxes on the formica counter top in your kitchen. Open up a bag of Wonder Bread and do this assembly line style.

5. Spread yellow mustard on bread. Slap baloney on bread. Unwrap American cheese slices and put on top of baloney. Put top on the sandwich and wrap sandwich in tin foil or wax paper. Put it in the lunchbox. Every kid gets the same exact lunch. Period.

6. Alternate sandwich choices could include: peanut butter and grape jelly, peanut butter and marshmallow fluff, the end of last night's leftover roast beef or the ever popular with children tuna fish with large chunks of onions and celery and Miracle Whip.

7. Put some Planter's Cheese Balls into a baggie and close with a twist tie.

8. Take Twinkies out of the box. Put one in each child's lunch box.

9. Fill Thermoses with either Kool-Aid or whole milk.

10. Include a red delicious apple even though you know that damned apple is just going to come home uneaten again, which is fine because you can keep adding the same one until it practically rots.



11. Close the lunchboxes. You're done. Go put some Barry Manilow on the record player and celebrate that your kids are out of the house until dinner time. They'll grab them, along with a frosted, dutch apple Pop-Tart on the way out the door as they walk a half mile down the road to get to the bus stop.

Back to School 2014

1. Take five deep breaths and say a positive affirmation. School begins in two weeks. It is the middle of July. Don't worry, you still have time to order BPA-free bento boxes and authentic Indian tiffins made with special stainless steel that did not involve any child-labor, sweat shops or animal cruelty. Remember, you have Amazon Prime. You can get the free two day shipping and you will have plenty of time to read reviews and make this very important decision because your kids are in summer "camp" which is actually just another word for school in the summer because OH MY GOD you were so tired that day you had to have them home all day with you and you couldn't go to your restorative flow class at yoga. And that was also the day something went terribly wrong with the homemade glitter cloud dough recipe that was supposed to go in their sensory bin and the very same day that they were out of soy milk at Starbucks and you had to immediately email corporate to let them know that duh, they should actually be selling almond milk and/ or coconut milk. Get with it Starbucks. Soy is so 90s.  Ugh, but you digress. The tiffin. The bento boxes...

2. One Week Later: The bento boxes and tiffins have arrived. So has your childrens' school's annual list of school supplies that you must purchase and deliver. It is three and a half pages long.  It includes a ten pound bag of flour and several cleaning products and also requests a Costco-sized package of toilet paper.

3. Begin frantic online search for backpacks and school bags made from all natural materials yet still "cool." Have them monogrammed.


4. Take kids shopping at the mall for new school clothes. Buy them each a completely new wardrobe from Gymboree and Crew Cuts. Spend $2,387.07 on your credit card.


5. Take children to the child psychologist to prepare them mentally for the difficult transition to a new grade, new teacher and new classroom.

6. Intently study the allergy list the school has sent you which lists all the items that other children in your children's classes are allergic to and thus cannot be sent in your child's lunch either. This is extremely stressful because the last thing you (or anyone) wants to be responsible for is sending a second grader into anaphylactic shock. Make notes on your phone so you can remember what not to buy when you go to Whole Foods.

7.  Purchase school supplies for your children. Not to be confused with the 3 1/2 page list of classroom supplies you are also responsible for. They will need paper, pens, folders, notebooks, a calligraphy set, fifteen new apps for their tablets, a graphing calculator, a scalpel, an electron microscope and a centrifuge.

8. Go to Whole Foods to shop for school lunch items. This will take 4 hours and 15 minutes because you have to read every single label to make sure you are purchasing organic, locally sourced, non-GMO, gluten-free, allergy friendly products. You come home with tahini, bananas and a package of brown rice cakes. You somehow spent $76.19.

10. The night before the first day of school prepare the bento boxes. Fill containers with organic, local strawberries intricately cut into the shapes of  sea creatures. Include homemade, nut free granola made with certified gluten-free oats. Make a sandwich on vegan hemp bread out of tahini, kale and jicama. Form it into the shape of your child's favorite Disney character. Make flowers out of non-dairy cheese slices, olives and seaweed. Photograph the finished Bento Box and post it to Instagram.

 11. Write your child an encouraging note which includes an inspirational quote.

12. Include a sheet of stickers for good measure.

13. Fill a Siig bottle with filtered water and also include a box of chilled coconut water in the Bento Box because children can never be too hydrated. Ever.

14. Blog about this experience. Pray it goes viral and is picked up by HuffPo.


15. Get up at four in the morning on the first day of school. Make first day of school signs for each child to hold as you photograph them on the front step. Make a bunting to hang above the front door. Blow up balloons. Actually, go ahead and make a full on back to school photo booth.



16. Make pancakes in the shape of the letters of the alphabet.

17. Dress kids in coordinated outfits and spend 35 minutes posing and photographing them (with your phone).

18. Load everyone into the car to drive them to school.

19. When they are safely in their new classrooms, return to your car to cry for the next 20 minutes. But it's okay, really. You'll be back in six hours to pick them up and drive them to Synchronized Swimming, Cello and Urdu classes this afternoon. 

882 comments:

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Kate Thompson said...

I'm killing myself laughing.... as a child of the 70's and a mum today, this is scarily SPOT ON!! :) Love it!

Anonymous said...

This is awesome, and it gave me a much needed laugh as I'm freaking out about my kids' first days of school. :)

Kimberly Townsend said...

Thank god, I went to school in the 70's and 80's...

Anonymous said...

Thank god, I went to school in the 70's and 80's.

Nature's Knockout said...

Lol!! Great job, loved the post and the throw back in time, very fun! Thanks so much! :)

Anonymous said...

I wish my kids were going to school in the 70's or 80's!

A GAL NEEDS said...

This is so hilarious! I loved every second of reading this! I'll do my part to try and get this to go viral. I will share it on facebook! Thanks for posting!

hmschlmomof4 said...

I hope I can assume that the 2014 description is exaggerated? If not, then I'll add this to the list of reasons that I'm glad we homeschool, whew!

Lea Akimbo said...

This is so funny and frightening. Because it's true.

Anonymous said...

I guess I am old school- other than the huge list of school supplies and allergy foods I don't do any of the other stuff... and I remember posing for photos for the first day of school way back when. and to be fair most of the food on the regular store shelves in the 70's were locally grown, organic, and non gmo- they didn't have to go looking for it

Amy @ Getz Girl on Fire said...

This was hilarious . . . a fun flashback of my childhood and a good reminder to take a damn chill pill with my own kids! Loved it!

Debi Walstad said...

That's crazy to think how much things have changed!

Sarah Mustardseedmommy said...

I started school in the 90's (hehe), but I still found this pretty funny! It's amazing how much things change!

Anonymous said...

Ever heard if DDT? Yeah, organic 70's...sigh

Kim Schwarz said...

A big-honkin' LOL, especially for the 2014 version.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

So much awesomeness this DESERVES to go viral!

Anonymous said...

Dukes of hazard and planters cheese balls did not exist until the 80's.

Leah Brooks said...

me too!

Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

Too funny! My mom wouldn't even let us have a packed lunch. Cafeteria lunches for us all the way through high school.

Anonymous said...

I flatly refuse to do anything the modern parent does. We live life like we're in the 70 all the time.

Anonymous said...

The 50s and 60s were even better!

Nina Seitz said...

Anonymous I always argue the point of organic and gluten free foods. We never ate out always had fresh veggies and fruits daily. Mom was and still is the healthiest cook. She never ever to this day ever bought organic or gluten free anything. And her and my dad are 70 and 77 and are not on any medication. None!!!! So many articles argue about organic and gluten free foods. It's good marketing that sells. Unless it's grown and controlled in your presence nothing is ever completely safe.

Anonymous said...

Now, where did I put that Barry Manilow album?

Anonymous said...

I want that Close Encounters lunch box!

Andrea said...

Hilarious! Totally sharing this on FB :)

Leslie Marinelli said...

BRILLIANT! Every last detail down to the Virginia Slims. (I am praying this goes viral and gets picked up by HuffPo, but if it doesn't, let's talk.)

Kent Brozovich said...

Heck yeah. As an 80s child, pretty much had the same experience.

Penny Bechtold said...

I agree that the 50's and 60's were better. We even drank water out of a garden hose and survived. Lol. Sometimes I think they get carried away.

Cheryl Joris West said...

Well, first of all, Thank you for the stroll down memory lane 1970s, that was very heart warming and made me smile! My life was exactly that...to the letter and we were so excited! Good grief, how did we get here with all the Fru Fru and endless supply lists. Thank you so much!! :-)

Julie Timms said...

This is classic! Best thing I have read in a long time!

Anonymous said...

Oh holy hell no wonder I AM A NERVOUS WRECK every year before school starts, not my kids!

Anonymous said...

Oh heck no wonder I am a nervous wreck before school starts every year, NOT my kids. Oh and the Dukes were definitely the 70's hon. I lived it.

Anonymous said...

MY kids aren't allergic to any foods. YOUR kids should know what they are allergic to and shouldn't be trading food with my kids. I went to school in the 60's and it was pretty much the same story as the 70's.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Mr. Buzzkill and/or Miss Debbie Downer...!

Anonymous said...

Technically, Dukes of Hazards 1979.

Grace Caporuscio said...

Heck we dont buy school supplies in 2014. thats what taxes are for. I survived the 70s and schools gave you what you needed!!!..and those stupid thermos bottles smelled if you had milk in them. Yuk!

Anonymous said...

VERY funny, and my kids went to elementary school in the 80's. Now where did I put those Virginia Slims, anyway?

Anonymous said...

Just missing picking out Trapper Keepers but maybe those were more 80's!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks

Anonymous said...

Well, it's not true that they'll need an electron microscope, at least, not until they get to AP science classes.

Anonymous said...

I went to school in the 70's, and my kid goes to school now. My parents weren't anything like the fictional mother in this tall tale, and I don't do any of the ostensibly "hilarious" over-the-top things that mothers of now supposedly do. What a drastically low bar for humor.

Anonymous said...

Pat yourself on the back some more. Everyone can tell whose kids are homeschooled.

Anonymous said...

No, no it isn't. Unless you live in Utah, I guess.

Linda said...

I don't have any kids of my own, but know all my friends, sisters and nieces do all of this. I taught for 30 years and know the crying part is not an exaggeration. Hilarious post!

Anonymous said...

That is a really good use of your time, arguing against organic foods. And clearly everything is exactly the same as it was when your elderly parents grew up. Your sample size clearly takes all factors into account.

Monica McGuire said...

I am so happy for your parents, and you having their example to avoid drugs, but somebody's gotta burst your bubble. Few of the (huge amount of packaged) foods were gluten free OR organic in the 1970's, and the prevalence of canned, gray vegetables, and canned, sugared fruit was pretty scary! I know because I HAD to be more aware since I was sensitive, and shopping was as nightmarish then as it is now in regular stores. You are wonderfully right that more locally grown veggies were available, but mostly at roadside stands that have disappeared. I am especially amazed you took the time to write "...nothing is ever completely safe," as though lack of complete safety is a good reason to buy terminator-seed, frankenstein GMO, or nutrient-starved stuff that looks good but tastes like nothing. And that is before mentioning indigestible basics like wheat and cow dairy (which rip at our immune systems), when reading labels and refusing fake food is so possible and vital to so many. Granted, food is not the only component of health. I believe healthy food is closer to 1/8th of our health practices, but it scares me everytime a cynic gets going, because it damages others so easily. Bless you and your choices, and Bless Us All.

Anonymous said...

Sounds about right, and Thank God, I don't have kids!

Hugh said...

This is very funny but I think it might be conflating then-vs-now with lowerclass-vs-upperclass somewhat.

Wide Lawns said...

Hugh, you may actually have a fair argument there though that wasn't what I was thinking when I wrote this. The "Then" is remembered exactly from my own childhood. I grew up in a rural area, pretty poor, and I basically just described what it was like for me and my cousins and friends. The "now" is a compilation of observations I've made lately. The whole inspiration for this post was me laughing at myself and all the nonsense I've been doing to get ready for my daughter's first day of school. I am guilty. I admit it. I was freaking out about other kids' allergies, packing pretty, healthy lunches, making a sign for pictures. Yup, all of that. It's me. But now, I live in a more upper class, suburban/ urban area around a lot of wealthy people, although I, myself, am pretty squarely middle class. As I was going over the school supply list, where, yes, there really was a 10 lb. bag of flour listed, I was making a mental comparison of how very different my childhood back to school experience was compared to my daughter's and then I started laughing to myself and the rest is history I guess. I sat down and wrote this and had a really good time doing so. It was like therapy. I hope everyone enjoys it. And no, no one in my family or anyone we knew was eating organic when I grew up. My family loved processed food. I grew up, however, to be an avid eater of lentils and quinoa.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, we sure can.

Anonymous said...

Twist-tie baggies? The default was to flip the seam of one side of the baggie over the sandwich, which seeped baloney juice in the lunch box/paper bag. Twist-ties were for prudes...

Jack said...

Unfortunately, allergies are real. If my kid was immune to anthrax and enjoyed sprinkling it on his lunch, you wouldn't want me sending it in.

Anonymous said...

Evel Kneivel and Six Million Dollar Man lunch boxes, yeah! And don't forget STAR WARS (1977!)

Anonymous said...

Article forgot that the mom would have been smoking the entire time she was shopping (clothes, school supplies, & groceries)

Anonymous said...

I really hope that the 'present day' Mom is a joke. That is just ridiculous that grown women would be so childish.

Jaime Marcus said...

It's simply funny--no need to analyze too much. No need to use this forum to pat yourself on the back for your own parenting. As a teacher and parent, I say thank you for adding much needed levity to back-to-school anxiety.

Anonymous said...

Terminator seed? No one is marketing these. Companies have even gone so far as to legally and publicly commit to never selling them.

Anonymous said...

DDT was never proven to be harmful. Dirty little secret.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad I teach my kids. Every time I see parents frantically running around with their gigantic supply lists for their three kids I just feel sympathy. And keep out of their way.

My dad bought my sister The Muppets lunchbox and stuck me with The Bee Gees. I'm still mad about that. Haha

Anonymous said...

Yeah, but my mom smoked Carlton 100's.

Steve said...

Name one person who ever died from eating canned vegetables or canned fruit packed in heavy syrup. Unless there was botulism involved, it ain't happening. Take OP's original small sample size and multiply it by the millions of people who were born and lived their entire life without eating organic, gluten-free, blah blah blah. If you want to eat that, go for it. Don't talk down to those who don't fall for the hype though. You know what WAS different? We (as a society) didn't spend most of the time sitting on our butts all day and night playing on our phones, tablets, game systems, Netflix, whatever. Want locally-sourced veggies?

I also have to giggle a little when I read about wheat and dairy. It's so AWFUL that our species has been consuming it since the beginning of recorded history.

Anonymous said...

A lot of this is crap parents put on themselves. I still shop at Sears for my kids and there is no keeping up with the neighbors around here. Our schools have also gotten the memo about those ridiculous supply lists. Though with all the cutbacks in school I understand why the teachers request them. Allergies are serious and hardly something to joke about. And a whole lot of this is messed up along class lines. But hardy har har.

Anonymous said...

LOL....I sure miss that old crocheted poncho!! :-)

Anonymous said...

Gotta get the pee chee folders too for that 70's schooling!

Ann said...

Funny! I remember the 70's and it was pretty nearly that way for me too. In the 90's my kids got healthy foods, generally all the food groups, in separate baggies in their lunches so they could put things together or not as they liked. NOw? well, we home school. NO more idiotic lists of supplies. I choose a nice packaged curriculum, set my schedule of days off and hours of work, and we complete our school year and a bunch of unit studies before the end of the year. AND I get to spend my time with my kids.

Anonymous said...

I'm old enough to remember ponchos. Yes, you got it right.

Anonymous said...

Actually the aluminum in canned veggies and fruit has been linked to Alzheimer's disease. We don't go super crazy with organic, etc, but we have significantly reduced the amount of canned goods we buy and opt for frozen veggies instead.

Debralee Loke said...

This is so hilarious. Most of us who can relate probably would agree we put too much pressure on ourselves to be good parents. Maybe many of us took it to heart that if we worked hard, we'd make life better for the next generation. The difference in parenting today from decades before us, is that many of us had the privilege of planning for our children. With that, our children are very much wanted and our emotional attachment is likely too strong. I I know many of us consider it a gift to have our children, despite the unrealistic expectations we usually put on ourselves. I guess we just want to get it right. As far as costs and lists of supplies, it is ten-fold as "We" prepare for college�� Few of us can get ready for that "donation!" Finally, I will admit, that I'm glad to have five more weeks to privately shed those tears, as I send my adult "man-boy" off for his final FIRST day of school. ��

Tara said...

I have a Celiac kid who can't eat gluten, but this post was funny. It's good to laugh at ourselves once in a while. Let's all have a laugh and not overanalyze it.

Anonymous said...

Oh my people...relax! This is the funniest thing I have read in years! It's the story of my life as a Mom in the 70s and 80s! Balony and cheese assembly-line on Sunday nights, Marlboros (and Pepsi), and the same old apple! Now, as I watch my daughter get her kids ready for school, so much of what Wide Lawns wrote is true! Just fun and slightly exaggerated! I laugh at those of you who can't laugh at this

Anonymous said...

And we had no freezer packs to keep our lunch cold! The bologna was just fine by the time lunch arrived!!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Wide Lawns, I remembered why I read you in the first place! Nailed it!!!!

Greg S said...

Oh hell yes. New cords, button down striped or plaid shirts with big collars, and those dungarees in 'husky' size.
I want the Scooby Doo lunchbox, and can you cut the crust off my fluffernutter sandwich?
I like those erasers you can stick onto the end of my #2 pencils please.

Anonymous said...

This is so hilarious. Most of us who can relate probably would agree we put too much pressure on ourselves to be good parents. Maybe many of us took it to heart that if we worked hard, we'd make life better for the next generation. The difference in parenting today from decades before us, is that many of us had the privilege of planning for our children. With that, our children are very much wanted and our emotional attachment is likely too strong. I Iknow many of us consider it a gift to have our children, despite the unrealistic expectations we usually put on ourselves. I guess we just want to get it right. As far as costs and lists of supplies, it is ten-fold as "We" prepare for college�� Few of us can get ready for that "donation!" Finally, I will admit, that I'm glad to have five more weeks to privately shed those tears, as I send my adult "man-boy" off for his final FIRST day of school. ��

Anonymous said...

Mine smoked Pall Mall Reds.

Anonymous said...

This is so hilarious. Most of us who can relate probably would agree we put too much pressure on ourselves to be good parents. Maybe many of us took it to heart that if we worked hard, we'd make life better for the next generation. The difference in parenting today from decades before us, is that many of us had the privilege of planning for our children. With that, our children are very much wanted and our emotional attachment is likely too strong. I Iknow many of us consider it a gift to have our children, despite the unrealistic expectations we usually put on ourselves. I guess we just want to get it right. As far as costs and lists of supplies, it is ten-fold as "We" prepare for college�� Few of us can get ready for that "donation!" Finally, I will admit, that I'm glad to have five more weeks to privately shed those tears, as I send my adult "man-boy" off for his final FIRST day of school. ��

Anonymous said...

Thank you Jack. Sometimes. I feel people dont get it. My son is allergic to all nuts, dairy and eggs. Parent get more offended (like a couple posts above) with REQUESTS-not demands-to not bring nuts into the classroom.

Anonymous said...

Benson an hedges lights

Stephanie Lormand said...

Hey! Those quotes were awesome on their stainless steel bento box! That I filled with goldfish crackers and canned peaches.

:D

Anonymous said...

Spot on from a child born in 1970 and a mom of young kids now! ROTFL

Anonymous said...

You are awesome . So true about all the electronics people use now.

Anonymous said...

They are the smart ones.

Anonymous said...

Indeed, it is very easy to spot a homeschooled kid in the crowd.

Anonymous said...

It was Winston in my house. On very special days you got pimento cheese sandwiches with corn chips. God bless us 70's kids.

Anonymous said...

I call bs my grandad always had cheese balls and daisey duke clearly was part of my late 70s childhood.

EJ said...

Wow. To be that cold, you must not know anyone personally with allergies. Do you realize that many of these allergies can - and have- literally meant DEATH. The child CAN know what they are allergic to but can't really keep from breathing the air of someone brings peanuts, now can they? Or help if someone touches them after eating an item that they have a severe reaction to. I can't really fault your ignorance if you don't know anyone but I can definitely fault your hard heart and callousness. I don't think you could be that flippant looking into the sweet little eyes of someone who could literally die because they are around peanuts. Put yourself in that mom's shoes who sends their precious baby off to school hoping and praying they are ok and they don't get a call that they had to use an epi pen and go to the hospital. And I would hazard a guess that many of the same people who would say "if you're that worried, you should just homeschool" are the exact same ones who are so quick to make fun of homeschoolers. Ah....what a world we live in. *I loved this's article and hate to be so serious but I just couldn't let that comment go.

Anonymous said...

Or Metrowest Boston.

Anonymous said...

Love this. It is how I grew up as well. Times have changed and what a fun way to put it all.
For all of you that found offense-I guess I am clueless because I didn't find anything offensive about this. I thought it was very cute.

Anonymous said...

Spot on but for the urdu class my family goes through the same thing accept we have no food alergies and exchange your afterschool stuff for legos robotics and arabic classes. Maybe its a florida thing or an i married a oriental thing. Or a wasp meets paki thing or an east meets west thing.

Anonymous said...

Check out Pinterest for some examples of that certain type of present day mom.

Anonymous said...

Just fyi, if your kids eats the thing my kid is allergic to, doesn't wash his hands after, then it is just as dangerous. All it takes is a miniscule amount of it transferred by your kid that easy for my kid to be sent to the hospital or way worse. It's way more complicated than simply not sharing food (assuming they are old enough to understand not to share food). Also, there are actually a lot more kids with food allergies now than there used to. Believe me- with every fiber of my being I wish my son didn't have a serious food allergy that affects all those around him. .. most of all his own family. But I will do what it takes to keep him safe, and sometimes that means I have to ask people around him to help with that, too. It might sound overprotective, but I'm more worried about him dying from his allergy than inconveniencing someone else a little bit (bc that is a real risk, and it has almost happened once already). This is why they ask you to help, not for something frivolous like just wanting to make their child comfy and the center of the food universe- it's for realistic concerns that can involve life or death.

Anonymous said...

What about Mr. Ed? ��

Anonymous said...

The yarn string that every girl wore in her hair - OMG I'd totally forgotten about that. Hahaha. Very funny post......it's a humor piece people, no need to start clutching your pearls and picking apart the examples.

Anonymous said...

Well said.

Anonymous said...

"And that is before mentioning indigestible basics like wheat and cow dairy"

The former is, quite literally, what made civilization possible. The latter is completely harmless, and in fact good for, the vast majority of the population.

I'm all for people eating what ever they want, but if you come talkin crazy don't get mad when people call you out.

Anonymous said...

Truth. The banning of it did indirectly result in the death of 3 million Africans to malaria though. The silent killer indeed.

Quon_mom said...

Thanks for the trip down memory lane AND the evidence I need. ("See, honey, I'm not the only who thinks baloney sandwich lunches no longer qualify as lunch. You are living in the 70's, my dear!")

Anonymous said...

Please join me in being a total failure as a 2014 parent. All you have to do is stop giving shit about irrelevant shit. Be happy and make your kids happy.

Anonymous said...

Boy do I have a seventies tale to tell! Another time.. perhaps in a memoir of sorts. My mom rode every new age/ nutrition bandwagon that came through town. Huy! I love the seventies despite all the genuflecting to gurus, no eating sugar, etc. Now I feel like listening to Donna Summer. "MacArthur Park!" Whimsical. ****Happy Thanksgiving, All. Look up: things can only get so much worse before we return to a more natural existence. It's the way it goes. Kids will play kick the can once again. And Israel will be taken to trial. But that's another topic. Anyone want their fortune read? (jk)

Anonymous said...

Lets hear it for Steve!! You tell her!

Anonymous said...

Add it to the list, and the fact that you don't have to compete with all the moms who don't HS! Love this!

Penny Wilbanks said...

loved loved this! so spot on. parents today make things so difficult and I was just as guilty. now that mine are grown I see that they didn't need all that extra crap we provide today. its just raising kids with entitlement issues for sure!

Anonymous said...

Thanks Steve, I get so tired of the organic rhetoric. Also, the fact is if we all only ate organic, local, free-range, no-antibiotic, whatever, we couldn't feed most of the people in our cities.

Nicole Pinto said...

I just wish more parents would use Tupperware in their kid's lunches. Plastic baggies are so disgracefully wasteful. It teaches children responsibility to bring their Tupperware back home each day. They'll also feel very proud of themselves to help save the environment, one lunch at a time. It's not that hard to rinse out Tupperware. :-) Saves $$$ as well! No need to buy prepackaged fruit cups, pudding, veggies that are 4 times the price.

Nicole Pinto said...

I just wish more parents would use Tupperware in their kid's lunches. Plastic baggies are so disgracefully wasteful. It teaches children responsibility to bring their Tupperware back home each day. They'll also feel very proud of themselves to help save the environment, one lunch at a time. It's not that hard to rinse out Tupperware. :-) Saves $$$ as well! No need to buy prepackaged fruit cups, pudding, veggies that are 4 times the price.

Anonymous said...

I wasn't even born in the 70's or 80's but my mom did and she raised me nearly as much as she was raised... And I thank her for not raising me like all these kids now a day

Anonymous said...

My grandfather grew his own organic produce. He called it farming lol!

Anonymous said...

Steve, In the past a large group of explorers all died of canned foods. It wasn't from botulism, it did happen from lead poisoning. The explorers died many years ago before people knew that sealing tin cans with lead was deadly. My point is botulism was not involved.

Anonymous said...

This is great! Although from what I can tell, it is comparing middle class 1970's with upper class 2010's. I wasn't alive in the 1970's but that's my guess. I'd be interested to see a comparison across similar socioeconomic classes...I think the differences here are at times more exaggerated for the sake of nostalgia. Haven't overprotective moms always existed in the upper class?

Anonymous said...

Steve, Many years ago there were a group of explorers who died from eating canned vegetables and it was not from botulism. It was because the tin cans with the food were sealed with lead. The food was full of lead poisoning, everyone in the group died. People are getting themselves sick and in fact die from their own ignorance, quite often. :(

jenn billesberger said...

70's child, Millennial Mom - this article hit many funny high points for me - Thank you!! And wishing you a smoooth Back-to-School!!

A Nonny Mouse said...

In all fairness, some allergies are so severe that any contact at all or just being in the same room as [allergen] can set off a reaction. I agree if children have allergies they should know and be taught by their parents why they can't swap food and what will make them sick/have to go to hospital.

Anonymous said...

DDT never proven harmful? Are you SURE about that?

A Nonny Mouse said...

So many people getting wound up and rude about this post! It's just meant to be a light-hearted comparison, it was amusing! Chiiiiiillll.

Anonymous said...

Steve - I have a friend who has celiac disease, so gluten-free foods is actually keeping her alive. If you don't have a medical reason to be going gluten free, I agree it's silly, and often contributes to gluten sensitivities. And most gluten free foods are trendy and full of processed crap and fillers. People with celiac disease are given proper education on what to eat and what to avoid, and mostly avoid those gluten free aisles as the fillers just cause severe obesity. So it's not all hype. People have developed sensitivites to GMO's, ect, and eating them can kill them. For most of the population, I agree with you. Just don't lump everyone in the same pot. It's like saying all fat people are fat because they eat too much. Please tell that to a women who suffers from PCOS and watch her knock you out.

As for Nina, kudos for you for hitting the gene pool jackpot! part of my message to Steve applies to your comment too. The reality is, they feed our animals with grain and corn and inject them with a shit ton of chemicals to keep them healthy. Unless you get your meat from a butcher (who buys from ethical farmers, who treat their animals well), you must have noticed that meats in stores, are much fattier and taste like rubber. This is the same as what fresh veggies go through, unless you grow it in your own yard. Yes, even organic has some trace chemicals on it. Wind carries. we won't get into what they do to them so they last the long trip to our stores and able to last in the stores for days until we buy them. then the days in our fridges. And allergies and behaviours are caused by things like red dyes. Keep your head in the sand please. But count your blessings that you don't have to deal with the troubles others do and doctors can't give a solid reason why. I know I do. I'm thankful every day that my kid isn't the child with the allergy that will kill them if they touch the oil. Or isn't allergic to chicken, or bbq sauce. That marketing scheme brought it to the masses, made it cheaper and extended lives.

Anonymous said...

My mom too! She sent a check with us on the first day of school for the full-year lunch plan; we only got to bring brown-bag lunches on field trip days.

Anonymous said...

1970s: A half-page dittoed permission slip for the kindergarten field trip to the zoo, to be returned signed with a check for $5 admission and bus fees.
2014: 6-page Google doc liability waiver for the "on-site presentation" of animals trucked in from the wildlife museum, along with a request for "donations" because the teacher cannot legally charge any fees.

Anonymous said...

Yeah. About that. ...just because you are an overwrought helicopter parent, doesn't mean everyone is an overwrought helicopter parent. I present as an alternative, Back to School in 2014 for the rest of us.

1. Take the kids to the edge of town to go shopping at Old Navy for back to school clothes the last week of August. Get everyone a new pair of jeans and a solid color tee shirt. Buy the boys a pair of khakis and the girls a pair of stretch pants. No, Jennifer, you can't have that orange and red poncho. Promise you will crochet her a better one with much more fringe. Get the girls a package of that rainbow, fuzzy string they like to make wristbands out of. You are done. You have spent a total of $43.00. Now take everyone to the McDonalds for a cheeseburger and chocolate milk.


2. On the night before the first day of school throw the kids in the way back of the minivan and drag them to the edge of town to Wal Mart, Target, Dollar General or the like and hurry them over to the back-to-school area to pick out a lunchbox. Make sure to tell them get a move on because you don't have all night for them to make a damn decision. They need to get in bed by eight and yes, they're going to miss the Real Housewives of Orange County if they can't decide between Justin Beiber and Guardians of the Galaxy. Good Lord, why is it so hard for them to pick? Tell Kimberly if she can't make up her mind between Bratz and The Disney Princesses then you're going to pick Dora the Explorer and you don't want to hear another word about it until June. Grab a composition book for each of them and a pack of pencils too. That's all they need. Remember to save some grocery bags so they can cover their textbooks with them after the first day of school.

3. Buy yourself a pack of Virginia Slims on the way out and smoke three of them on the way home, because, screw it. Smoking is still fun no matter what anyone says.

4. Get up in the morning and make yourself a cup of Maxwell House with Splenda. Line up all the lunchboxes on the formica counter top in your kitchen. Open up a bag of Wonder Bread and do this assembly line style.

5. Spread yellow mustard on bread. Slap baloney on bread. Unwrap American cheese slices and put on top of baloney. Put top on the sandwich and wrap sandwich in tin foil or wax paper. Put it in the lunchbox. Every kid gets the same exact lunch. Period.

6. Alternate sandwich choices could include: peanut butter and grape jelly, peanut butter and marshmallow fluff, the end of last night's leftover roast beef or the ever popular with children tuna fish with large chunks of onions and celery and Miracle Whip.

7. Put some Planter's Cheese Balls into a baggie and close with a twist tie.

8. Take Twinkies out of the box. Put one in each child's lunch box.

9. Fill Thermoses with either Kool-Aid or whole milk.

10. Include a red delicious apple even though you know that damned apple is just going to come home uneaten again, which is fine because you can keep adding the same one until it practically rots.


11. Close the lunchboxes. You're done. Go put some Coldplay on the record player and celebrate that your kids are out of the house until dinner time. They'll grab them, along with a frosted, dutch apple Pop-Tart on the way out the door as they walk a half mile down the road to get to the bus stop.

Anonymous said...

Wow, you're amazing. The fact that the majority of people found it funny just proves that you're the only one who is cultured enough to require much more sophisticated humor. Can I be your friend, Uber Cool Anonymous Person?

Lori Greene said...

What a hoot!!! Love this!!!

Anonymous said...

Ah yes, the old metal lunchbox. The faint smell of sour milk and Fritos lingering inside even when clean. I can still hear the rattly squeaky handle as I carried it to and from school. One bump of that latch would immediately eject the entire contents of the box onto the ground.

Anonymous said...

The sad trombone plays for you. Lighten up, princess.

Jim said...

I grew up in the 70's and now have children a 11 yr old and a 2 yr old. I dont remember any kids having any allergies growing up. We have dealt with the allergy issue when my son was in Preschool and Kindergarten. We had this kid who had every kid of allergery you can have, peanuts, gluten etc..You couldnt send peanut butter sandwiches to school, the kids couldnt have pizza parties etc..I feel for the kids and their parents who have allergies like this but if it is so bad just a wiff of it will send them into shock then maybee they need to be homeschooled in a more controlled environment. I know other parents who have kids with certain allergies like gluten etc that would make food for their children when we had special events so they would have a treat when say cakes were brought in for the kids and they couldnt partake etc...Either way it seems like there are lots of immunsuppressed kids out there with allegeries now...

Anonymous said...

Like Hell! PB and J, Clean jeans and plain tee shirt (outfit is uni-sex)! Push out the door and wish them luck......DONE!

Anonymous said...

I don't know. Pretty accurate of some people I know in the Mid Atlantic area. Most are stay at home mothers whose identity is sooo wrapped up in being a mother that they are suffocating the kids. I laugh when I see the moms crying in the cars in the parking lot. I have 4 kids and I am dpomg the happy dance down the sidewalk. Not that I don't love them, but I need them out of my house

Joseph Cellieur said...

You forgot, scroll down to the first arbitrary bit of meaningless feedback sometimes worse than Hendrix with an over dipped headband, click reply and type the words " work it Johnny Ringo" all which of course is recorded for posterity in some weird building in suburban Maryland.

Work it Johnny Ringo

Anonymous said...

We should all be dead... http://flashbak.com/8-reasons-children-of-the-1970s-should-all-be-dead-323/

Anonymous said...

I think some of you have missed the point that this is supposed to be a funny article...not a treatise on organic and gluten-free foods. Why can't we just enjoy it and laugh without having to have a class or lecture? If it wasn't your experience, ok move on. I for one would like to be able to laugh.

Cindys Recipes and Writings said...

You nailed it!

Anonymous said...

Nothing about going online and completing 30 pages of health, permission, and privacy forms?

Anonymous said...

OR Lansing Michigan, and my mom didn't do lunches for us, we played cribbage to see who would make the 8 sandwiches. The only good part of having to make lunches is you got to choose what you made.

Anonymous said...

Or the Washington DC metro area.

victoria suarez said...

funny

Anonymous said...

I think it I EXTREMELY exaggerated. All in good fun though. We live in a nice east coast suburb and my second grader has the same batman lunchbox he picked out from Target for kinder back to school - the only difference is he wanted a Minecraft lunchbox this year so he covered it in in Minecraft stickers. Schools do try to keep kids with life threatening allergies alive, but that hardly seems awful to me???

Anonymous said...

We have kids in my daughter's class with allergies. My daughter loves peanut butter, but I would never risk someone's child for it. A minor inconvenience for me saves a major heartache for another parent. In fact, I was at the school and found out one of the kids was also allergic to watermelon. I thanked God I was there to hear it because I didn't know and was going to send some with my daughter the very next day. It's called caring about the world around you.

Anonymous said...

i laughed because i cant beleive how ridiculous "today" sounds and yet im reading some comments and people are like "spot on", wow how sad is that.

Anonymous said...

I'm a SAHM in the mid Atlantic raising my kiddos like it's 1984. My 7 year old claims he invented the pepperoni sandwich....

Rachel c said...

It was harmful to birds, but birds don't matter much I guess. Not when you can look at photos of them on Google with your iPhone.

Anne said...

Just the other day, as the photos flooded my feed, I thought, 'Did my mother take a single picture of me on any of my first days of school? '

Anonymous said...

This is a riot and so true. But, it is also kind of sad that these changes have come about.

Anonymous said...

My mom smoked Salems.

Anonymous said...

Can't believe how much Baloney we eat Eight years Ugh. Don't forget us Catholics and cheese on Fridays, ever Friday. You think baloney doesn't sit well in a lunch box check out cheese.

Anonymous said...

You don't buy school supplies!?!?! Where do you live? I'm moving there. Our teachers include the classroom supply list in with the student supply list. I think it's a form of camouflage so we MAYBE won't realize how much we're spending on the classroom stuff.

Anonymous said...

Good job homeschooling, Mama! Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Tareyton 100's and she's still alive!

Dawn said...

Loved it!!! Now just throw in the working out of the home mom and you would have really hit it head on!!! LOL!!!

Morandir said...

I went to school in the 70's and 80's ... and I don't have kids! I win!

Anonymous said...

These kids with food allergies grow up in a sterile and "safe" environment but also grow up with a false sense of security. What do they do as young adults in college or the work environment?
Teach them to be cautious, not control others around them.

Anonymous said...

And Israel will be taken to trial?! Way to bury the lede, there, ax-grinder.

Feathered Ruffles said...

i didn't eat bologna, so my mom put kraft cheese slices on wonderbread with mayo (the real stuff, miracle whipe is gross) and sprinkled the mayo with white sugar. Also. I got a banana instead of an apple.
but yeah.

now i homeschool my teen and nanny my niece and have spent weeks pinteresting interesting bento-type lunches to pop into muffin tins for her and her two year old fingers.

my 14 year old pretends i don't exist. i'm pretty sure that part is the same.

Margaret in Minnesota said...

So true it's scary.

(And brilliant.)

Mom of a Wonderful Kid with Food Allergies said...

This was great until I got to the joke about food allergies. How is it funny to joke about a life-threatening condition that affects 1 in 13 kids? Anaphylactic shock! Ha, Ha Ha! Ooops, you might kill someone's kid! Ha, ha ha! Seriously, not funny, not even in the slightest for those families dealing with food allergies. If you disagree, I invite you to come live with us for a day and we can explain to you how we worry about keeping our child alive on a daily basis, including at school. And that we have to fight other parents about this. Then you can listen to my son as he talks about how he understands that something he eats could kill him in minutes. He's 6. But hey, it's ok to joke about it. I mean, what harm can it do....

Anonymous said...

I see the aluminum = all heifers myth is alive and wel. Smh.

Anonymous said...

Okay how about a comment from the older generation..............put peanut butter and jelly on bread, add an apple, and put in a brown paper bag or a metal lunch box. The milk was supplied by school. As for supplies, buy a box of crayons, some white paste (the kind that comes in a jar with a stick attached to the lid to spread the paste on your projects), pencils and a "book bag". Done.......life was simple.

Anonymous said...

Wide Lawns, no apology or explaining necessary. Most of us appreciate and get satire. This was really really good. Belly shaking funny. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

I didn't attend school in the 70's, but from the sounds of it, the preparation for back to school was so much simpler, per say....... I don't have any idea what back to school consisted of that long ago, but can agree to many of the things posted in the back to school now part. I read this article for what I thought it was meant to be: a quick laugh at the then and now, and will not get defensive or be offended. Some of the comments though--that's a different story... . All I can say is kudos to you for cracking some humor in what can actually be a very stressful time in our lives now days.

Anonymous said...

Great laugh this morning. Remember the game in gym class where you had to stand up against the wall or chain link fence if you were outside and kids threw actual hard bouncy balls at you to try and hit you to get you out? What was the name of that game? My husband and I were telling our girls about it the other night and laughing because now they play dodge ball with spongy balls.

Anonymous said...

DDT not harmful? Um, might want to ask the bald eagles about that.

Anonymous said...

I agree. People are way too sensitive nowadays.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!

Jen Blalock said...

Hilarious!! Thank god I was a parent of kids in the 70's and 80's.

Sabrina Melchionno-Geller said...

As a fellow honest minded blogger, I thin you rock! This is spot on and I'm relieved to see that like minded individuals exist! Thank you for your great share!! MWAH!!!

Anonymous said...

As someone who began first grade in 1959 (no, there wasn't a Kindergarten class) in a small town, all of this sounds hysterically funny! Why would any generation put themselves through this? I've been through the psychedelic 60's (where everything was organic and natural for a time until they figured out it was a pain in the arse) and been through every decade since, obviously. What bothers me about kids today is their parents. Let them grow up like kids. Let them play (and I don't mean play video games). Let them be silly and goofy and make mistakes. TEACH them something useful (make a bed, cooking, doing laundry, yardwork, fix a bike tire innertube). Teach them how to be self sufficient along the way. Let them play in the neighborhood and go to the corner store to buy something. The world isn't any more dangerous than it used to be, we're just more paranoid. Just BE.

Anonymous said...

Wide Lawns, no apology or explaining necessary. Most of us appreciate and get satire. This was really really good. Belly shaking funny. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Um, if you go to Old Navy the last week of August, your kids will have worn old clothes back to school for the first two weeks, and the chances of you finding clothes still available in the size you need is zero.

Anonymous said...

Wide Lawns, no apology or explaining necessary. Most of us appreciate and get satire. This was really really good. Belly shaking funny. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

People didn't NEED organic or Non-GMO food back then, b/c the use of heavy pesticides hadn't occurred yet. SO what they ate ended up being as close to "natural" as possible and thus, more healthy. GMO hadn't happened either yet, b/c people WERE still growing some of their own produce at least, and the need to make "stronger and larger crops" wasn't there. SO while I agree, and also have an 86 year old grandmother who takes NO meds, the food we have access to and eat today is completely different. Literally. I'm all for people eating whatever they want and just trying to make overall healthy decisions, but there is a HUGE difference in what we eat and the way we eat today, and it most certainly does and will affect our overall health. I find it ironic that no one REALLY smokes anymore and that if they do, they don't really defend it as healthy. Why? Because after YEARS, we figured out that it made us sick. The same will be true for GMO's in the future. We just don't know it yet, and just as with smoking decades ago, it was easier to just do what felt good and not worry about it. As for the article itself? Hilarious! Got a great laugh out of that!

Anonymous said...

ALPINE 100'S

The Vogels said...

I still have a phobia of Sears to this day!

Anonymous said...

why would you take Arabic classes in the USA?

Anonymous said...

All I know is that as a kiddo born in 1969, I had a hard belly laugh over this! Loved it! (I know, I know---easy from the cheap seats as my youngest is now in college.) Even in the early 2000's, my kiddos' supply lists starting ramping up to a ridiculous level. I do miss the simplicity of my school days in the 1970's--clothing was a no-brainer as I am a Catholic School survivor.

juliabloom said...

Aw, I miss my Holly Hobbie lunch box!

Beth said...

AMAZING how many people don't understand jokes. You see, sometimes, people "exaggerate" for humor. They go "over the top" to be funny. I love all the people who have felt to comment that, "seriously, this is why I am a better mom because I homeschool," or, "why are you so crazy about school?" or, "don't laugh about allergies." JOKES, people.

Anonymous said...

I was in school in the 40' and 50'. My mother would fix lunches while we were getting washed and dressed [basically a sandwich and fruit]. On days that we had nothing to have for lunch, we ate in the school cafeteria [which was free]. No fancy lunch boxes either, brown paper bags. As for clothes, we wore hand-me downs and were not ashamed. Let me add that I was not in a rural area, I grew up in Brooklyn, NY. My children had it a lot easier, but I never went overboard on clothes or special extras. They grew up fine and their children are not being extravagantly pampered either.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the great laugh! As a mom of four, who raised her kids in the 80's & 90's, I totally can identify with this. As a grandmother of 6, observing younger moms, I was in hysterics! I'm thankful my grandkids moms aren't over the top!!

Anonymous said...

Well said!!

Christy said...

You forgot that instead of Barry Mannilow the music would be "You know what to do with that big fat a$$, wiggle, wiggle wiggle," and you'd film the 18 month old twerking cause it's "cute".

Anonymous said...

sick of this mentality....just live for crying out loud

Anonymous said...

I think parents make such a big deal out this, I helped my daughter get her 1st and 4th grader ready for back to school, and I CAN NOT believe the list the school sends for her to buy, and then to find out it all goes into a "community box?" so in other words its for the ones who do not bring anything in and I pay for it! unreal!
Parents today want to be friends with their kids and sorry to tell them it will not work, you must create boundries for them, and they really
do want boundries.
I am so glad I went to school at a time when things made sense.

John DiBella said...

I found this on HuffPo.

Amy Lanham said...

I seriously started crying, and not from laughter. THIS IS SO TRUE, and so sad. Why is it so hard now??? I miss my childhood.

Christy said...

You forgot that instead of Barry Manilow the music would be "You know what to do with that big fat a$$, wiggle, wiggle wiggle," and you'd post the video of the 18 month old twerking cause it's "cute".

Anonymous said...

I am a Great Grandma now and have watched all these changes take place. Bottom line: All the kids have the same time-honored love, mind your p's and q's ( yes that's old old school) training and like all those who have gone before, they will survive and get educated despite mom and dad's " latest" trending. In the 40's, I came home, after walking 6 'blocks' to a bowl of hot oatmeal for lunch and a nice conversation with my mom before heading back to school for the afternoon session which included cleaning the erasers after school and wanting very much to wear a patrol belt.

Anonymous said...

HYSTERICAL!! Loved this so much! I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. The best part is, I actually had a Pigs in Space lunch box!

Anonymous said...

Wasn't there a song to teach you how to spell B-O-L-O-G-N-A? Bologna.

Anonymous said...

The taxes needed to pay for a school education, and then the $300.00 list of supplies that they need, not including the graphing calculator
It's really ridiculous

Dee Dee said...

Hilarious! You forgot one thing on the 2014 "to do" list. A week before school starts decorate your middle-school daughter's locker with color coordinated accessories. Be sure to post it on Facebook because otherwise what's the point?

Anonymous said...

This seems to be written by a child of the 70s and a mom of today. The author seems to imply that parenting is more challenging now and parenting was more neglectful then. Would have liked to see the article written by two authors, a mom of the 70s and a mom of today.

Anonymous said...

Nina -

As much as I roll my eyes at the organic/non-GMO craze, please remember one very important thing:

An anecdote does not make data.

Cheers,
Dana

Anonymous said...

Well one thing I donthink remember from the 70s is all the snarky know ithat all that are going to "school you on your life and what your doing wrong"! Go ahead express your so important opinions no need to be bitchez about it.

Patti said...

Oh man, so true! We had it made back in the day.

Anonymous said...

I went to school in the 90s. My brother is 14 years younger than me and going to school now. When he was in third grade, his teacher sent back his as-requested colour-coded Ziplock bags because they had the little plastic tabs on them. Oy. To this day I don't know what they were for.

Christine said...

I'm pretty sure none of us brought our apples home but we threw them in the trash instead.

Anonymous said...

Dukes of Hazard: 1979-1985
I had my Shawn Cassidy shirt and my bell-bottoms... Scooby Doo lunch box. I was COOL!!!

Anonymous said...

I thought you were right on point. I went to a fancy private school and i ate bologna/cheese sandwiches with chez doodles and a diet pepsi that i had frozen the night before so it would be cold at lunchtime. What does bologna have to do with class status? Hugh is an ass :)

Anonymous said...

how did the discussion go from funny, back to school exaggeration to arguments for/ against organic,canned, etc??? Maybe we should put Adderall for MOM on the back to school list,huh?

holly lipsey said...

But if it's your kids lunch, why do you worry about other kids allergies? Not being mean, but I've never dealt with this issue before.

Anonymous said...

Or the Bay Area. I don't hs and maintain easy peasy 70s style parenting. I did fine, so will the 3 I have :)

rarejule said...

Holly Hobbie lunch box, all the way. Product of the 70's and raising teenagers today, not an easy task! Fabulous post.

Jamie said...

Not related to the post (which I thought was hilarious, btw) but I think we might be sisters - I've moved more than 20 times, and my sister really is my aunt. :)

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